Monday, November 15, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends” ~ Unknown Author
"Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage, the shorter the trip." ~ Arnold H. Glasgow
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Quote for the day -
Try accepting the things in your life instead of focusing on wishes that might never happen. Life can be tough, but avoid wasting all you energy focusing on it because you still have a lot to live for.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Secondly, is my friend Tammy at From Fat to Fab. She got me started blogging, and actually wanting to lose this weight. I kept telling her I wasn't ready to get started again, yet. We even worked out together for a while, but life and circumstances got in the way, and we have found different workout partners. I have found her blog very motivational, and inspiring also. She also trained my hubby to eat healthier when they were roommates, so he really doesn't mind eating the healthy stuff I cook.
And thirdly, is Pam from The Rest of The Journey. She has inspired me to do a half marathon and also to do the Biggest Loser Husband vs Wife Challenge. She has a lot of good ideas, and is very motivational. I have also stolen some of her recipes (From Apples to Zucchini) and the hubby loves most of them.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Yesterday, there were cupcakes lurking in the office from a birthday the day before. OK, Ok, I bought them for the birthday, that's my job as office manager, I take care of the details of the office. But I really thought I'd be able to resist them. I did have one on the birthday, but Tammy looked up the calories and I figured it into my budget for that day. Yesterday, they were still there. Tammy even asked if I wanted to split one with her, and I said no. We ordered lunch out yesterday, not a bad lunch I had a roasted chicken, spinach & artichoke wrap. Sounded good (and healthy) but they didn't have a calorie count online. However, as I was getting ready to leave the office I stopped to clean up the kitchen and those cupcakes were there calling my name...Lord help me, I just had to have one. I wasn't even hungry, the sweet tooth just got the better of me. Today, if all the cupcakes are not gone, they go in the trash.
Dinner was good, I had made Shepherd's Pie the night before, so we had leftovers.
Today's food has been ok. I had Oatmeal with 1/4C of skim milk; 2 non-fat, sugar free vanilla lattes (my weakness - much like Starbucks but I make my own); a Chicken Melt sandwich and cottage cheese; an apple and a handful of grapes. I not sure what I'm making for dinner yet, but it will be something with Chicken and veggies (squash, zucchini, peppers and onions - and I need to throw some mushrooms in there too).
I have still not been working out. I have been so busy and stressed with other things going on that I just haven't gotten there. We have not joined the new gym yet, hopefully this week, then there's no excuses.
Now to my answered prayers. To those who have read my blog you know that I have been in some financial difficulties because my ex sued me, and I was looking at having to pay his attorney fees of about $3500. Well last night after I got my paycheck transferred to the savings account and the rent money from my rental house transferred, I pulled out the order to see how much I was going to be short. For some reason I thought when I looked at the paper it was $3,511, but when I got it out last night it was $3,302. With all the money I had been putting into my savings account (no bills were paid this month), I had a total of $3,343. I DID IT!!!!! I have all the money needed to keep me from going to jail. I have been praying and stressing about this. I finally just gave it all to God and said this is what I have, if it's your will for me to go to jail so be it. God did not want me to go to jail apparently, and I have all the money together. We are going to the bank Saturday morning and get the certified check.
God is good if you just trust in Him and don't lose your faith. Now to put this weight thing in his hands. I can do it !!!! I just have to put forth a little more effort and it is possible.
2 Corinthian 12:9 says "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." How can I be so weak? How many times do I have to fall before I get it right? Questions like these have plagued me for years - many years. I was familiar with failure. In fact, I was so comfortable with it that accepting a gift like God's incredible favor and grace was difficult for me to comprehend, let alone embrace as truth in my life. I am learning how Christ could work powerfully through me because of my shortcomings He gave me something I hadn't had in a long time - hope.
Now I no longer have to pretend to be strong. I can admit my mistakes, mishaps and failures, and I have a God who loves and forgives me anyway.
Today is today and tomorrow is a new day, a new beginning, a fresh start.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Right now along with my war on weight loss, I am also having a parental war. I have always been the mother that no other mother wants to have around their kids, but the kids love me. I have never been super strict on my kids, I have tried to allow them to be their own persons. My ex always called me a liberal mother, which isn't entirely a bad thing, right? We have never had a lot of money, so my kids are by no means spoiled, but they do have their own opinions on things. I let my kids learn from their mistakes, not tell them what the outcome is going to be because I've already been there. Who knows the outcome may be different, you never know. But they always learn. And I think they have turned out pretty good. They are now 23 and 18. In my relationships I have never had a partner who had the same views on parenting as I do, so to say this caused riffs in my relationships is an understatement.
My son just turned 18 and finally got his license, but he has no car of his own. At this time I cannot afford to buy him a car, nor does he have a job so he can buy a car, so he is borrowing my car. Which is what I let his sister do, and I got her an inexpensive car when I could afford it.
Now the problem comes with my husband. He thinks my son should only be allowed to drive to and from to find a job, he should not be allowed to drive where ever he wants to. Now how many teenagers don't get to drive around and hang out with their friends??? He puts gas in the car, so what's the harm. He is a safe driver. My husband's argument is this puts wear and tear on the car. Well, yea but me driving everyday to work also does. I'm not really sure what the problem is here, but the solution, I am afraid, is not going to be a good one.
I am a Godly woman and I think that when you get married God makes you one, HOWEVER...if this is how it's going to be, a constant argument about my kids, I really don't need it. I have enough stress in my life the way it is. Why have a constant argument about my kids to add to it?
I have been trying to be positive lately. I have been going through alot of HELL, and I find that if I can find one positive thing to focus on, things are little more bearable. How am I going to find a positive in this? Sometimes trying to put up a good front becomes too much to bear.
Last night was one of those times when it became too much to bear. I had a really bad day at work, came home with the beginnings of a migraine. My son had texted me to ask if he could use my car again today. So in asking my husband if he could go in early to work, so I was not late again (the start of my bad day at work), he gave me an answer of "if I have to", or something to that effect. He says I took it wrong, but I think that's exactly what he meant. And then he proceeded to give me the wear and tear on the vehicle speech. The migraine is getting worse by the second, and I still have to cook dinner. Luckily I had a frozen bag meal that takes only 15 minutes to prepare. My husband and I are "discussing" the car issue as I cook dinner and my mother-in-law comes in to tell me of something my son did earlier in the day that she didn't agree with. I. of course, trying to keep the peace just said ok I'll talk to him, and appeared to just go on with what I was doing. But it was eating at me inside, I have no one on my side here. Everyone is against my son. So I get dinner on the table, and as I'm sitting there trying to eat a little of whatever it was I cooked for dinner, I just start crying. Trying not to show this emotion is harder that it appears while sitting at the dinner table. I eat a little, get the dishes cleaned up and go to my room for some migraine pills and a wet wash cloth to hide my tears. After a while of just laying there by myself I was beginning to feel better, if that is at all possible. Then the hubby comes in to discuss it...I must say there is no discussing my son with someone who does not have kids and either had no life during his teenage years or cannot remember them. So of course this lead to a bigger argument.
My whole mindframe is if something were to happen to me, who is going to take care of my son? My husband (and my mother-in-law) always say he will always have a home there, but really??? Will he feel this is his home when everyone is trying to stifle his life? I know he's 18 and an "adult", but is he really ready for life in the outside world, with no one to fall back on?
I know this is a heavy post for a weight loss blog, but...this kind of stress in my life leads to my food addiction. And last night if I had had a bottle of something or some money to go buy something, I would have so been drinking. It was just that kind of night. And I know that those kind of behaviors do not lead to good things, but it was just that kind of night.
All that said, I do feel somewhat better now. The sun is shining and I am alive, still a little bit of migraine, but all in all it's getting better. The food has not been overly bad today. I did have a cupcake for breakfast, only 220 calories, but I had skipped breakfast so not too bad.
2 lowfat, sugar free vanilla lattes
3 pieces of chocolate candy
2 turkey hotdogs (45 calories each)
1/2 cup cottage cheese
Haven't decided on dinner yet, but hopefully it will go better than last night.
So for now, a prayer
Lord, today I start fresh. I am ready to begin again. In my weaknesses You are strong. When I fall, You so graciously pick me up and set me on Your solid ground, again. Thank You for Your gift of grace. May I walk in Your strength and power today, one step at a time.
Monday, September 13, 2010
So volunteering brings early mornings, we have to be there by 7:30 to set up, which leaves little time for breakfast. Made my low fat, sugar free vanilla latte at home to bring with me, and stopped by McDonalds to get the hubby an egg mcmuffin. I decided on just a plain bagel. After the farmers market we had to run errands with the in-laws, so we were at the mall at lunch time. Dad wanted a Gyro, he doesn't usually eat so we went to the Gyro place. I probably should have looked up to see how many calories I had eaten, but did not. I had a gyro wrap without the sauce, just the meat and lettuce. It was yummy, but like I said calories are unknown at this time. I was going to run by the store on the way home to get a few groceries but it was getting close to time for my son to be home, so I decided not to go. Mom said she had some lean ground beef laid out in the fridge that needed to be cooked that day, so I came up with something off the top of my head. I made a Salisbury steak type dish, with the ground beef, gravy and mushrooms. Made some fresh veggies with a potato cut up in it and some corn on the cobb. All in all it was a pretty good dinner, but again no calorie count.
SUNDAY was a whole different story. We had to be at church early. My husband and I are in charge of the coffee bar, so we make the coffee and set up all the things for coffee, so we have to be there early. So running a little late and once again no time for breakfast. Once I had drank my latte, I was starving. So we ran by Hardees to grab something. I used to work at Hardees in high school, and I love the cinnamon raisin biscuits. Needless to say these are not calorie friendly, but I got two of them anyhow. So I scarfed those down while getting the coffee ready. Then after church we all went out to the local pizza place. Since our church is new to this little town we try to go out to a local restaurant in the community every time we are in town. This place had the best smelling food, and I love Pizza. I could eat pizza three meals a day, although I know this is unhealthy, but has been done before. Anyhow, I opted for the house Calzone, this has lots of meats and cheeses, probably not calorie friendly either, and I ate the whole thing. I was miserable the rest of the day. All I wanted to do was go home and take a nap. Which I did not do. We went by the grocery store on the way home, and it was about 4:00 by the time we got home. So after getting the groceries put away and doing some things around the house, it was just too late for a nap.
Also, no exercise this weekend. I have got to start exercising.
Today, I found out that the gym we are going to join at my husband's work does not do payroll deductions for the gym membership which is what we thought they did, it all has to be paid in a lump sum. I know it's only $52, but when you're looking at having to pay $3500 to a stupid person by the 23rd, and you don't have it all some things have to be put on hold. And we will have to wait to see if I have all the money or if I'm going to jail. If I have all the money by the 23rd we will be joining when I get paid at the end of the month. If not I hear they have exercise facilities at the jail and three not so great meals a day. So I'll probably lose weight and exercise.
Quote for the day - Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don't give up.
Friday, September 10, 2010
I was at 1495 in the calorie department. I made some scrumptious turkey sausage and veggies for dinner. The hubby loved the veggies. He didn't eat the sausage, because he's had some stomach issues the past two days.
Today the food has been okay. Not sure on my calorie count yet, haven't had dinner yet. Although I did go away from my normal lunch and had a wrap from Johnny's pizza. It was a grilled chicken, bacon, ranch wrap. It was tasty, but haven't looked up the calories yet. The bacon and ranch probably did me in.
I had my normal Oatmeal with 1/2c milk and splenda for breakfast.
Right now we are pretty broke, with having to pay the ex's attorney fees because he sued me, so it's kinda slim pickins on the veggie front. Veggies are so expensive because it's getting to the end of the season on most things. I'm going to go to the farmers market and see if I can get some good deals. We have been volunteering with our church at a local farmers market in Canton, but the produce is getting to the end of the season and getting smaller and smaller. We'll probably go back up there tomorrow and see what we can find.
But we are just doing what we can do for now. I think that as long as I eat in moderation I'm still going to lose. We are definitely not eating out as much (like almost never), so that helps also.
Hopefully this will be a relaxing weekend. Maybe some farmers market tomorrow and church on Sunday and just some rest. This has been the longest 4 day work week I have ever had.
I am hopeful to blog more over the weekend, but sometimes I don't even get on the computer. I do hope to start at the gym on Monday. Hoping, hoping, hoping. I need to get moving, I feel like the eating right is nothing without the exercise.
Well for now, good night.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Last Wednesday my son turned 18. He had waited to get his drivers' license til he turned 18 because he didn't want to take the online drivers' education course I had gotten for him. He wanted to go to the drivers' education place and take the course and it was $500 and I wasn't paying that. So today I took him to get his drivers' license. He passed. He did really well for not really practicing, but of course he's had his learners permit for 4 years. We did the test in the morning, then I checked out a new gym at my husband's work, and then he brought me to work. It was the first day he has driven by himself...my baby. He said he was looking for a job, he did have one interview, then he had to pick up his girlfriend and then came back to pick me up. He and the girlfriend then went out and he was home by 10. I know that's an early curfew for an 18 year old, but I have to get up early for work so I told him to be home by 10. All actually went well.
It was also my father-in-law's birthday, so of course I had to have birthday cake and ice cream with him. He turned 65, you only do that once in life and he was so excited that Shane and I were there with him.
SO, before the cake and ice cream I was at 1475 for my calories for the day. I didn't even add the cake and ice cream because I know it would be way over my calorie budget for the day. But all in all it was a good day food wise.
I still have not got to the exercise portion on this new journey of mine. But I plan to start on Monday.
I was talking to Tammy (@ From Fat to Fab) about a half marathon she and a few other bloggers are going to be doing in November 2011 in Savannah. I am so going to do this. Not only will it be a vacation to Savannah, it will be a great goal to strive for. A half marathon...13 miles. That does seem like a long way when you are used to not doing anything. The farthest I have ever walked before (on the treadmill) was 4 miles. So I'm going to start on Monday to do work up to this. I was reading Pam's (@ the rest of the journey) blog from yesterday where she is talking about this half marathon, and I really like her 13 week plan. She is going to do interval walking training for the first six weeks to work up to the jogging/running for the half marathon. I think this is great. So starting Monday, I am going to start on the Plan. I will of course make my own modifications to the Plan, because I don't bike, I'll probably do elliptical and I will probably work out on different days. But I will definitely walk and do elliptical at least 5 days a week.
I am so excited that I have this goal to strive for. When there is a goal to strive for it is always easier to push yourself that extra mile.
For now I am headed home.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Day one went really well, I did really well with my eating and my water. I didn't get in any exercise though. I have cancelled my gym membership because of a problem with the training contract and them continuing to take my money even after I cancelled. But that's another stressor all in itself.
We are looking at another gym, that my husband has access to through work. It is small but for only $52 a year for both of us, how can we pass it up. We were each paying $20 a month at the other gym, so for the both of us it was $40 a month vs $4.33 a month.
I did good with my food for the first day. I am allowing myself 1500 calories for now, and yesterday I logged 1451, so all in all it was good. I need to add more fruit and veggies and cut out the lattes'. Although I have developed my own latte, which is only 93 calories each. I use skim milk, sugar free french vanilla creamer and coffee and I envision it tastes just like Starbucks. It really a mind over matter thing.
So all in all my first day back was pretty good.
Every time you face a challenger, you are being tested as to how strong your beliefs and intentions are. People who go through great hardships achieve greatness. Confront your challenges with a brave face. The greater the challenge, the greater the gift of power. - A.C. Ping
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
I have joined my daughter, Kandice's, summer challenge.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Valentines Day is a special day to spend with the ones you love. And guess what??? The boyfriend popped the question. I was so surprised. I knew he was planning something, but I had no idea what magnitude it would be.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
So on to my weight loss. As I said I haven't been as diligent lately, but I haven't really gone backwards either. I have lost some and maintained. NOW on to the losing again. I am now down to 197, so yeah me....I'm in Onederland, and will not leave here ever again. I've started counting my calories again and working out hard. I'm trying to stay between 1500-1700 calories. I'm doing cardio either on my way to work or at lunch for 30 minutes, then I usually meet Tammy at the gym after work and do cardio for 30 minutes and then do strength training. I'm loving the low impact of the elliptical because of my plantar fasciitis. We started doing some new weight exercises for the bat wings, which I can really feel the next day. After Saturday's work out I had pain in my arms and my abs, and I didn't do any more than normal on the crunches, so I feel it had to be from the pull down exercises we are doing. Sunday I had to skip the workout, as my internet had been out for 4 days and Sunday morning was the only time they could come out and fix it (I didn't even know they worked on Sundays), then the kids had to go to the mall and that was all she wrote. However, the mall was quite a work out all in itself.
So today is a new day. I have consumed 1,052 calories and have had 2 33oz bottles of water. I did my 30 minutes of elliptical (2miles) this afternoon at lunch. Since Tammy can't workout tonight I will stop on my way home and do the elliptical again, and maybe some strength training. I'm just not as dedicated to it if I'm by myself.
I will not be eating out this week. I have found some low cal recipes that are really not that hard to make, and my daughter will be making dinner. As she is not working right now and only goes to school two nights a week she has a little free time, and I just know she loves it.
Anyhow, I'm going to get caught up on all my reading of the blogs shortly and will be trying to post more regularly now that I have a little more free time.
So for now, count all your blessings God has given you.